The Allegorical Kayak

The Allegorical Kayak

I Stood at the banks of a raging river watching the water tumble and froth, churning it’s way to the sea, carving the landscape deeper and deeper with each passing Aeon. Out of nowhere came a man riding the surge like a dragon charioteer, strapped into a bright red Kayak and covered head to toe in waterproof Garb. His face was expressionless as he bobbed and weaved around the rocks making the cheating of death look effortless. Just downstream from my perch high up on the bank I could see the river dropping over a vertical waterfall estimated around 40 feet or so. I looked at the kayaker and then back towards the falls and then with a more panicked expression back towards the kayaker. This time our eyes locked he cracked a smile gave me the thumbs up sign and plunged over the vertical abyss. My heart sank and I scrambled down the rocks expecting to see a lifeless corpse floating in the pool below but to my amazement there was the kayaker sitting on the bank drinking a frosty cold brew he’d pulled from a hatch and motioned me down with a nod from the bottle.

The man set down his drink and offered me his hand. “My name is Tenzin” he said “what brings you to this neck of woods” as he reached into the cooler to offer me likewise. “I come here to think and to drown my thoughts against the sound of the rapids” I told him. “I saw you and I thought”, as my gaze turned away, “well never mind about that, pleased to meet you my name is Hawk and I live just over yonder”. “What sort of boat is this and how in the world did you make it move like that”. “This is a Kayak Hawk and training, lots and lots of training”. Intrigued my eyes followed the lines of the kayak and stout double bladed paddled resting against it. “Is it difficult to learn, I mean can anyone do it”. Yes Hawk” and with a chuckle “no it’s not for everyone just a select few who merge with the purity of the five elements”. Sounded cryptic to me but I couldn’t take my eyes off that beautiful red kayak. After a moment of some sipping in silence he promptly stood up and without a word hopped back into his kayak and shoved off the bank with his paddle. Tightening the chin strap on his helmet as the current started to grab his boat he took a couple of hard strokes and spun the boat around to face me. “If you’re interested, meet me at the oxbow near harpers mill tomorrow at sunrise, and I’ll show you a thing or two”.

That night I replayed the days events in my head shucking and jiving my shoulders as I imagined myself in a kayak making the same moves and how exhilarating it must feel to master such chaos. With the cock-a-doodle doo of my pet rooster Henry I was up at twilight and headed for the Oxbow. I didn’t see Tenzin at first and thought to myself, “what a jerk getting me out here in the cold misty morning for nothing” It wasn’t quite light out yet but there in the middle of the river was a rock the size of a VW bus and it appeared to have a person sitting on top. At the same time I noticed the red kayak parked on the bank just upstream of the rock. With a hop skip, and a splash the form was waterborne and moving like a beaver across the swift white water towards me. It was Tenzin all decked in his waterproof suit. As he climbed up the bank, he welcomed me with a strong handshake and asked if I was ready to get wet. I didn’t know what I was ready for, I didn’t even know why I was really there but I managed a feigned uh-huh. I looked upriver and downriver and over to the other side and asked Tenzin “where is my kayak” He laughed heartily, put his hand on my shoulder and said “No kayak for you Mr.Hawk, if you want to paddle first you must learn to swim”. With that he walked over to his Kayak and pulled a waterproof suit from the hatch and handed it to me. “Go over there and change in the bushes but watch out it’s full of poison oak”

I stood there for a moment having second thoughts but what the hey I’m here and I’m an adventurous guy, let’s just see what this kayaker has up his sleeves. The suit fit perfectly but had latex gaskets around the wrist and neck apparently to keep water from getting in. What was I getting myself into as I ducked under a low hanging spring of juicy noxious poison oak. Tenzin lead me through a few warm up stretches all the while explaining the six classes of a river system.

To be continued–

Klamath Slamon Run

For fisherman who live in Humboldt/Trinity county even if you’re not a Yurok, Kurok, or Hoopa, the Klamath river is a spiritual Mecca we all must visit and pay homage too at least once a year. I love to drift this river in my X-factor loaded with camping gear, but for this trip it was all about learning to paddle and fish with My Hyde Driftboat. Alot of you are looking at the Klamath now that Fall Salmon are making their run so I thought I might share some of my trip for would-be Salmon Slayers. I’ll try to add pertinent info when applicable but don’t expect too much follow ups. There is so much you would never be privvy to as an outsider. I don’t mean that in a bad way but secrecy is the law of the land up here and there are consequences for divulging too much.
Our Trip started at Pecwan a sacred Yurok ceremonial site and ended at Klamath Glen just upstream from U.S hwy 101. It was just under 20 miles and we drifted it extremely leisurely over 2 and half days which is perfect for kayaks too. I should state from the outset that don’t think you’ll be able to come up here and just re-create this trip on your own. Without a local or a guide service, which in some cases won’t mean s*#t, you could run into some big time serious trouble with The Native populace who are definitely Hostile to non-natives traveling uninvited through their territory. It’s not just the people you have to worry about, the place is wall to wall crawling with bears hopped up on fermenting berries (and in some cases wild psychedelic mushrooms). Downstream near the Mouth is more open to the general public but even there where a whole economy thrives on your having a good trip, don’t expect a welcome mat. For our shuttle we arranged (payed) with a buddy to drive us and our rig to the put-in and meet us with the trailer downstream 3 days later. That’s the only way to do it unless you have a little time at the end of trip and some bomber car insurance. This stretch of river is entirely roadless except for a few roads used by tribal members only. the roadless nature is what makes this run so spectacular that it’s worth some minor hassles now and again. Having missed out on the morning bite we drifted a mile or two into steelhead waters where we attacked it viscously with an onslaught of every color spoon and spinner. Black “michael jacksons” worked well with the bright sun on some half pounders but nothing bigger was caught the first day. We mixed it up with a majority of that days float spent “pluggin” into current. It was my driftboats maiden river voyage and I kept standing up to admire how well she floated loaded to the hilt with camping and fishing gear. It was a pig to row in slow waters but cruised like a feather with any moderate flow. My lack of technique and skills on the oars made for some frustrated fisherman, luckily we had driftboat mike with us who coached along the way and gave excellent clinics on fly and spey rod use.
Camping is tricky because every 10 ft is pile of bear crap and finding a single river bar along the whole stretch without recent bear activity is impossible. We have 3 factors making it that way 1)smoke from fires have driven most bears down to the river 2) it’s berry season and the banks are rife with them. 3) Dead salmon collect in eddies and along rockwalls for easy pickins to a scavenging bear. We had brought along steaks, man dogs, and cherry pies etc… If that wasn’t enough a jar of smelly jelly sitting in the sun all day fell over in the drift boat bringing out the ire of Hawk. With camp set and food hung way way up, we set out to drift and fish as long as the regs allowed of course.
If you are a coffee drinker who needs some time to prepare and wake up with a ritual cup of joe, you won’t win any friends amongst salmon fanatics. These guys were up at o dark thirty sitting in the driftboat with red bulls and thick hoodies, looking at me like “don’t you even think about busting out that coleman”. Our secret weapon for the trip (which is no secret) was to use sardine wrapped kwikfish and drift them downstream in front of the boat 40 feet or so. Coming around one bend we had a close encounter with two bears where the larger adult was chasing away a pestering juvenile who still looked to be the size of a volkswagon bug. Then Mike yells out of no where “I’m on” as his rod goes bendo slamming into the side of the boat. The fish jumped and we all let out a simultaneous gasp. This one fish could be the whole trip and we all knew it so it was man your battlestations, all hands on deck. We quickly reeled in the other lines and did a chinese fire drill in the boat to switch pilots. Graham was net man and scolding me furiously for jinxing things by busting out my camera. Not hearing a word I snapped away lovin every second of it. “C-mon baby yes yes, turn around, hold her up, ahhh i’m spent”, and I didn’t do anything. With the anchor out, Graham jumped out ready to net the fish which went like a torpedo straight for it. If you’ve never been to church or been touched by the divine then spend an afternoon fishing with graham and you’ll see what it looks like when a man has ultimate reverance for life and the balance of nature. He held that Salmon for a few seconds, did his thing, and set him free to spawn up stream. Mike was stoked but that was his gazillienth Salmon and he only remarked how small it was while Graham and I feigned a smile. As soon as the bite was on it was off again. The rest of the day we saw incredible displays of salmon on salmon aggression and we knew that there was a recent fresh run, but that was to be our last adult salmon of the trip. We drifted past several of the boat in only fishing lodges and a place called Ravens rest. These lodges would make for a great mid-way stop for well heeled kayak anglers. With the heat of the day setting in we made camp at a place called Blue creek and went for a long swim. The cooler waters of the creek dump into a big pool where Salmon take their first real break from the sea and cool off a bit as well. As soon as the river was shaded again we put on waders and walked out to a mid stream island. Graham and Mike started nailing 4-6 lb steelies left and right with great fights in water waist deep. I was busy trying my hand at flyfishing and having some luck with several hook-ups, I just couldn’t land one to save my life. It had been dark for a while when I had to insist the guys return to camp or I would eat there steaks myself. Their dedication is evident in the numbers on their steelhead card while mine still reads zero for this year. As we dined under a perfect starry sky, a bear started growling and huffing from the bushes behind camp. We were evidently in his way and causing a great inconvenience he just had to let us know about. Graham who was making a valiant effort at re-hydrating with some some Barcadi 151 was feeling his wheaties and ready to go toe to toe with any invading Ursine. Both of our nights on the Klamath were uneventful but we did take all the proper bear precautions which is crucial. Night fishing with Glow in the dark spoons was way cool if unproductive.
The last days drift brought nothing but half pounders which are fun but not what you came for. I was on oars most of day and then all the sudden we start running into Jet boat after jet boat the closer we got to civilization. I know there is an etiquette to passing other boaters who are currently fishing a run you want to move through. Some panicky strokes on my part screwed up the rotation for about 11 or so boats and much embarrasement for yours truly. My compatriots were mortified as we slinked downstream under muffled insults and stink eyes. There was a last ditch effort to sling spinner baits in a frenzy as the the boat ramp got nearer and nearer. Graham was near inconsolable at not having got a big chinnok, me just another day at the office.
Will post pics when I get back home.

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